It's time for another memory maker...

...and I can NOT wait.  Tomorrow is the first junior high football game at home against Belle Plaine.  My son's in 8th grade this year and loving each and every second of football season.  He is a true athlete and plays the game with more passion than anyone I know.  Some days too much intensity, almost to a fault.  He loves the game.  And this first game of his last year of junior high will be incredibly special, but he has no idea why yet.  The reason for the game being soo important?  My mom is coming.  Yes, true.  I am picking her up after work, driving her to Marengo so that she may watch her only grandson kick some tail on the field.  I am not sure who is more excited for the game, my son or my Mom.  She is beyond happy to be able to go.  Was almost uncertain if she was going to be able to come.  She's incredibly tired, weak, some days wobbly, pain is coming on more and more, and she is thin.  So very very thin to me.  There are days where her eyes are shining with happy.  There are other days that her eyes are glassed over and you can tell it's not a stellar feeling.  But for now, we will relish in the fact that she still agreed to go.  And the best part is, it's all a surprise to Bdogg.  He has no clue that she's coming.  I am sure seeing her in the stands and having her give the largest smile possible and waving is going to stop him in his tracks.  Right where he's at.  I will have a 'ring side' seat for the event.  These are the kind of moments I live for.  Memories being made that are most certainly some of the last memories we will remember.  Seeing my Mom's eyes light up as my son runs to the sidelines after warm ups and spots her in the bleachers.  Can't wait.

As for her overall health, things were doing rather well lately.  The last two weeks have been pretty good for her.  The pain is starting to creep down from her middle back to her lower back, and the pain is more intense and is waking her up at night.  This crushes me to my soul.  No need for the pain.  I don't like it one bit and I will never understand the reason God chooses to do this to certain individuals.  It's painful enough to know before hand that in a short time span, she will be gone.  She ultimately will be another statistic to mark down, another story of someone losing their valiant battle to pancreatic cancer.  So yeah, the pain....NOT a big fan of it.  According to Hospice they do still have a bit of wiggle room with her pain meds, so they were once again upped.  For that I am happy.  As happy as I possibly can be.  Just want her to be at peace with her body and not have to fight to feel normal.  Is that so wrong?  I don't think it's too much to ask.  but there again that is EXACTLY why we have Hospice involved.  The girls have done such an amazing job keeping her pain under control, coming to the house at 10pm on a Friday night with their emergency pain medication back pack on hand if need be, and making sure to check up on me as well.  They do their best to make sure I am ok and on track and not burying myself under sorrow and worry.  I have a difficult time swallowing and accepting that attention.  Not used to people being worried about me and how I am handling day to day life in general.  Honestly, I don't know how we would do this journey without the love and compassion and caring of Hospice.  I swear those girls are blessed with a gift that I would never be able to handle.  Dealing with dying patients and their families...could.not.handle.  No way.  Never.  And for that reason alone I have the utmost respect.

So tomorrow the game, smiling, eating some concession stand popcorn, my girls arguing over who is going to sit next to Maga Moon.  The day will be perfect.  Can't wait <3