Honestly it's a birthday for my Mom that I thought she would never see when she was first diagnosed. To live for 2 1/2 years with pancreatic cancer is nearly unheard of. But here we are, tomorrow is the day. It's her birthday, and she will be 60. Another milestone to check off the list, a small celebration to be had. I wish it was all cake and ice cream and balloons and streamers. I wish there was a big ole birthday bash planned with a Tony Stewart cake and black balloons and "Over the Hill" signs posted prominently in her front yard. There's not. It's not that we don't want to have an elaborate party. Trust me I would love nothing more. I think for the benefit of her, we will pass on that this time. She is not herself. She is exhausted. She is sleeping a lot more, having some issues with vomiting and fever, and breakthrough pain seems to be coming through bigger each day. The breakthrough pain is not a good sign. It's manageable with the meds that she has for right now. For that I am incredibly thankful. The pain meds do NOT take the 'scary' out of the pain. The pain meds do NOT take the worry and the fretting and wondering and waiting out of the pain either. The pain meds make her comfortable physically and that is crucial right now. If you don't know anything about pancreatic cancer, I will educate you briefly...
Pancreatic Cancer metastasizes, and it's a very fast cancer.
Managing pain and other symptoms is an important part of treating advanced pancreatic cancer. Palliative care teams and hospice can help with pain and symptom management, and provide psychological support for patients and their families during the illness.
Ninety-five percent of the people diagnosed with this cancer will not be alive 5 years later...OUCH. Talk about a staggering statistic that needs attention!
Pancreatic cancer often has a poor prognosis, even when diagnosed early. Pancreatic cancer typically spreads rapidly and is seldom detected in its early stages, which is a major reason why it's a leading cause of cancer death. Signs and symptoms may not appear until pancreatic cancer is quite advanced and surgical removal isn't possible.
It can be one of the most painful cancers to die from. And that alone is enough to scare even the bravest of souls. So I am asking you this...any of you reading this blog, please pray. Pray for comfort and peace and love and relaxation and time. I cannot forsee the future, nor do I plan on predicting the outcome, but my gut feeling right now is that things are not ok. Things are starting to go downhill, and I have just lost the brakes.....
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