Tuesday, July 17, 2012

It's up to YOU to find the beauty...

even in the ugliest of days, you have GOT to find some thing or someone that makes you smile...that makes you stop and say "Wow that's really amazing."  Soo many times we run through life with blinders on.  Not noticing the patch of clovers in the grass, with that one four leaf clover waiting to be wished upon.  I used to be guilty of rushing through my days, never noticing the butterflies, or the shapes of the clouds, or the days when the sun shines just warm enough to make it a perfect summer evening...all of that changed when my Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Cancer is UGLY...there's just no getting around that chaffingly obvious fact in life.  Cancer does not discriminate, it cares not about age or gender.  Cancer is all consuming and cancer is selfish.  So finding the beauty in Cancer...that's difficult.  The first year, to be honest, I found NOTHING humorous about the fact that Pancreatic Cancer had picked my Mom to invade.  I was angry and I was distraught.  I tried to open my eyes to the bigger picture, but it didn't work.  But then came year #2...and what I realized is that I had grown as a person.  I was seeing the different shades of blue the sky could be.  I was seeing the happiness in my children as I become increasingly more patient with them.  I saw the four leaf clovers in the grass.  What I realized is the ugly, putrid, mortifying disease called Pancreatic Cancer had indeed made me a BETTER person.  I was more patient, more aware, more thankful, and the biggest acheivement of all.....Grateful.  Grateful for the fact that Cancer opened my eyes to a world I might have not seen for a very long time.  I have grown in ways I never thought I would.  Don't get me wrong here, I would move the Heaven and Earth to blast pancreatic cancer OFF the planet and have it never invade another soul again, and I DETEST the disease.  But what I detest has made me better, has made me more driven, more focused, more loving, and more receptive to others than ever before.


So before you go to bed tonight, count your blessings, say your prayers and think of all the beautiful things in your life that you have.  And every morning that you open your eyes to start a new day, make it your goal to Find the Beauty Even in the Ugliest of Days....you will never get today or yesterday back.  Make it worth your time, take each step with joy knowing you are blessed <3
I am certainly blessed and if you would like to see just how blessed I am....I encourage you to watch my video <3  It's worth every single second <3

4 comments:

  1. I completely understand your post, Michelle. When my dad was diagnosed, I was angry, bitter and depressed. There have been so many lessons that cancer has taught us - find the joy in every day. Smile at strangers. Let the little things go. Look for the good in people. Give thanks for all you DO have. Have faith that God will give you strength to face each obstacle as it comes.
    I wish there was an easier way to learn these lessons than watching your loved one suffer. I'll be following your blog and praying for your family. Hugs, Debbie

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    1. <3 It's comforting knowing that others out there can feel my pain and relate, Thank you Debbie <3

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  2. I think that is the 3rd time I have watched your video and I still got teary....all I have to say tonight is HUGS!!

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    1. You always have been here supporting me with words and for that I want to THANK you <3

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