Settle Down, It'll all be clear....

Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear.  Thank you to Phillip Phillips and his song entitled "Home" for the blog title and the quote.  I live that blog title....LIVE it....  I am constantly telling myself to 'settle down'.  It's those moments that trip me up that others take for granted...like the sound of my cell phone ringing.  That ringtone alone is enough to make my heart stop beating, my breathing becomes erratic, and it feels as if the 'elephant in the room' is sitting directly on my chest.  Just because of a ringtone...  Some days I am paralyzed with fear upon checking caller I.D.  Once I see it's not a phone call from my Mom or her husband, I have to 'settle down'.  What takes a total of maybe 10 minutes for me to regain my composure feels like eternity.  All because of a ringtone.  And this happens almost EVERY single time my phone rings.  It's not.any.fun.  Most people love to get incoming calls.  Most people spend half their day on their cell phones and take for granted that they are not receiving a call about a loved one becoming ill or passing away.  These little things like ringtones on a cell phone, well I don't take for granted anymore.

I am relearning how to live life and trying to cope.  I try to pay no mind to the demons...they DO fill me with fear.  Fear and anxiety, pain and depression are just a few of my demons.  But I am learning to cope with those demons and pay NO mind to them.  How do I do that, you ask?  Well about one year ago, I taught my Mom (and she taught herself, too) how to text.  I know, crazy right?  Everyone knows how to text.  Ha! But that has become my way to 'talk' to her each and every single day, sometimes five or six times a day.  She is a very proficient squasher of my demons, and texting has been a large part of the squashing.   I go to work and fret and worry and think and ponder and sulk.  And just as soon as I am off of work, I send her a text to check up on her, and she sends me one back saying how she spent the day making not one but TWO loaves of banana bread for her grandbabies <3  Aaaaah yes all is right with the world, and the demons that filled me with fear all day long have been abolished.  Funny how comforting a text can be.  Trust me, I don't take texting for granted anymore, either.

Today was obviously a better day for Mom.  Up and about and making banana bread.  Being in the kitchen doing what she loves to do...and I don't take that for granted!  God has blessed her with another good day today and for that we are BOTH incredibly grateful <3

So if life is dragging you down, just know you're not alone.....Settle Down, It'll all be clear.  Trouble, it might drag you down.  You get lost but will always be found... <3