The Soul ALWAYS knows what to do to heal itself...

The challenge is to silence the mind.  A more daunting task for me recently.  There has been an abundance of noise going through my mind 24/7 for the last two plus years.  And not just all negative noise either.  There was a time where we always had glimmers of hope...that the chemo would work, that the radiation would melt the cancer away.  My mind was buzzing with emotions the day the oncologist delivered the news that the chemo was not helping.  After that day in April, my mind could not 'shut down'.  It never silenced....EVER.  And this went on for weeks and weeks.  It was pure torture for the soul, for my family. and for me.  I was not the same person after that day.  I became a better person.  My soul started to heal itself, but it didn't happen overnight.  Slowly I realized that this was God's way and there was nothing on this earth that I could do to stop it.  So why burden myself with a buzzing mind full of negativity, grief, sadness, and turmoil?  My soul and my mind had it 'out' with each other.  I am here to tell you my soul won the fight.  


I have self healed some of the wounds in my psyche that cancer has ripped open for me.  The thought of being without my mother is the last wound standing.  We can never change the cards that have been dealt to us, but it's up to us on how we play the hand.  And I plan on playing this 'hand' as gracefully and courageously as I possibly can.  Healing your own soul is something you have to work on.  For me, at least, it didn't happen naturally, but happened over a span of about one month.  One day I would wake up and stuff the negativity down and out of my head.  The next day I would let it all surface and have a good ole ugly cry (which I highly recommend to ANYONE going through this sort of ordeal, you NEED that release).  As the days passed, I became better.  I woke up wanting to start the day off on the right foot.  Positive.  Grateful.  Happy.  It became easier each day and now here we are, approximately three months since the last chemotherapy treatment, and I am ready to say my soul is healed.  The true definition of 'soul' is...


the principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existence from the body;the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical part.


My principle of life has changed drastically...and if I can do it, anyone can.  I used to be a Debbie Downer, I used to fly off the handle all too quickly, and I used to not use a filter before thinking of what I was saying.  My soul is healed...still working on healing the heart.