Never in my lifetime did I think that cancer would have such a profound effect on who I become. But wow was I WRONG...way wrong. I wouldn't obviously be writing this blog if it weren't for cancer. I wouldn't be trying to make the most of every single visit and phone call, because honestly does YOUR face light up every time your phone rings and it's your mother? Can she HEAR you smiling through the telephone when she tells you of her day that she just had that was pain free? Do you tell your mom stories of the past while she is writing and moaning in pain from the cancer? Do you keep on keeping on even though you would rather curl up in a culvert on a dead end dirt road and sleep it off for 48 hours? If cancer has become a presence in your life, your answers might very well be exactly the same as mine.
Cancer honestly has molded me into a better human being. I remember a short time ago (three years maybe) I was abrasive, difficult, stubborn, impatient, and sometimes VERY rude. Short tempered, quick to snap, and most days unhappy with what life had to offer aside from my kids and my better half. Not all the days were bad, but as I look back, I see soo much more that I could have been, SHOULD have been happier for. Cancer made me a more patient, less abrasive, kinder, happier person. Hard to fathom how a disease could do that to someone, but it has. I am grateful for how cancer has changed me and how I now realize what a doof I was being prior to this. I will NEVER go back to being that ungrateful person, ever again. Thank you cancer....
Mom has had three consecutive GREAT days, little pain, no vomiting, and even Hospice told her today that she looked better than Friday....WHOOOOPPPPEEEEE!! I love good days...no pain...and consecutive good days are even better. She is sleeping a LOT more than she normally does and frequently naps during the day, but rest right now is what she has to do. I am praying for a few more good days for her <3
No comments:
Post a Comment